Archive for May, 2012


Wow I’ve just read something very short yet oh so very true. It describes all the feelings and emotions that I and many other’s go through on a regular basis..  I thought it was so good that I’d include it in this post.

———————————————————————————————————————————————————————-

“There is a particular kind of pain, elation, loneliness, and terror involved in this kind of madness. When you’re high it’s tremendous. The ideas and feelings are fast and frequent like shooting stars, and you follow them until you find better and brighter ones. Shyness goes, the right words and gestures are suddenly there, the power to captivate others a felt certainty. There are interests found in uninteresting people. Sensuality is pervasive and the desire to seduce and be seduced irresistible. Feelings of ease, intensity, power, well-being, financial omnipotence, and euphoria pervade one’s marrow. But, somewhere, this changes. The fast ideas are far too fast, and there are far too many; overwhelming confusion replaces clarity. Memory goes. Humor and absorption on friends’ faces are replaced by fear and concern. Everything previously moving with the grain is now against– you are irritable, angry, frightened, uncontrollable, and enmeshed totally in the blackest caves of the mind. You never knew those caves were there. It will never end, for madness carves its own reality.”

― Kay Redfield JamisonAn Unquiet Mind: A Memoir of Moods and Madness

———————————————————————————————————————————————————————-

Well what do you think? I’d say it describes how allot of us feel when suffering from Bipolar very well.

It turns out that Kay Redfield Jamison  is an American clinical psychologist and writer whose work has centered on bipolar disorder which she has suffered from since her early adulthood. She is Professor of Psychiatry at the Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine. If I’m honest that kind of suprised me, call me stupid or something but I didn’t think someone with a mental health Issue could practice psychiatry or be a  clinical psychologist .. Am I wrong for thinking that??

Regardless of what I think ,one things for sure. She knows how to use words well, far better than I..

Advertisements

Image

A visual interpretation of how I’m feeling at present, my head is spinning at alarming rate. I imagine this is how you’d feel if you were training at NASA in that spinny round thing.

I’ve only just started Blogging and I don’t really know what to write, I’ve read a few other peoples Blogs and they seem to know allot more about it than me, I’m what you’d call a NEWB to the whole thing as I was only diagnosed this time last year. As anyone with Bipolar would know its a roller-coaster of emotions and feelings. Since I started this Blog I’ve already spoken to a few people that :-

1.. Have Bipolar or other mental health Issue

2.. Have a greater knowledge of It than myself

3.. Are open an willing to talk about it

I’ll be honest with you when I say that since my diagnoses I haven’t really been able to express my feelings, yes obviously I talk to my wife but I don’t and can’t expect her to understand truly. Don’t get me wrong she does her best to listen and understand but until now I thought I was alone..

Luckily I stumbled across this place and all that It holds, I’m amazed at the fact I’m not actually  alone and there’s people out there going through the same as me..

This is like an opening of my eye’s and a widening of my mind, I feel ecstatic, almost euphoric in a way that for once I’m actually enjoying. Obviously I’m aware that I’m having a hyper moment but If I’m truthful I really don’t care right now I feel happy and that’s all that matters isn’t it??

“Creativity is closely associated with bipolar disorder. This condition is unique . Many famous historical figures and artists have had this. Yet they have led a full life and contributed so much to the society and world at large. See, you have a gift. People with bipolar disorder are very very sensitive. Much more than ordinary people. They are able to experience emotions in a very deep and intense way. It gives them a very different perspective of the world. It is not that they lose touch with reality. But the feelings of extreme intensity are manifested in creative things. They pour their emotions into either writing or whatever field they have chosen”.

I found this on the Web but I couldn’t find who actually wrote it..

Oh an while I’m here I’d like to thank the people who have decided to follow me or have past comments. It’s much appreciated..     😉

Just feeling bored so I thought id try an describe some of the feelings and emotions I go through on a regular basis,,  Hope I don’t bore you to death. 🙂  
 
Have you ever felt like things have piled up on your shoulders to the point you will never, ever get out from under it all? It all starts without you really noticing – a few unmet obligations, a few letters or e-mails or phone calls that need to be returned, a couple of bills that you have put off because it seems like there is plenty of time to complete them, and BAM! Before you know it, you are so overwhelmed, the tasks that MUST be done  are completely insurmountable, and all you can do is go from the bed to the couch, eat junk food and walk around aimlessly without hardly any sleep, then you start debating which task you should begin first, only to immediately question your decision and remind yourself of all the reasons why you won’t be able to complete it to yours, or anyone else’s, satisfaction. 
All I can do is DEAL with the matter at hand and take 1 step at a time, any progress is good progress when your dealing with bipolar….
Well that’s about all your getting from me tonight even though my heads booming I think It may be the best  thing to do..   

Will be back some time soon no doubt,  chow for now an take care.

 

A view from inside my head..      AAAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHHImage

As the title describes, my head is racing like something out of star trek. For the people who unfortunately have Bipolar they’ll understand where I’m coming from..  This is an absolute mission just to keep my mind focused on this 1 seemingly simple task.. 

It’s almost like I’m a child on Christmas eve, I’m exhausted my body’s is aching yet my head is saying PLAY PLAY PLAY..

What makes it even worse is the fact my wife an kids are all tucked up in bed, so although I’m in day time mode I have to creep around the house trying not to make any noise which trust me is no easy matter.

As a lot of you’ll understand when your like this ,you kinda wish there were other people to talk to or even just play a few online games with.. There should be a social kinda site specifically for people like us, somewhere to chat – share experiences – or as I said simply play games..

WOW,,  I’ve only just realised I’m rambling on aren’t I  ??????????  Sorry about that,lol.   Oh well, If nothing else I’ve given you something to read for 5 mins.

😉    

http://www.nhsdirect.nhs.uk

More from me 😉

This is my 1st Blog using WordPress so apologies for being a bit miss mashed..
Just feeling bored so I thought id try an describe some of the feelings and emotions I go through on a regular basis,,  Hope I don’t bore you to death. 🙂
Have you ever felt like things have piled up on your shoulders to the point you will never, ever get out from under it all? It all starts without you really noticing – a few unmet obligations, a few letters or e-mails or phone calls that need to be returned, a couple of bills that you have put off because it seems like there is plenty of time to complete them, and BAM! Before you know it, you are so overwhelmed, the tasks that MUST be done  are completely insurmountable, and all you can do is go from the bed to the couch, eat junk food and walk around aimlessly without hardly any sleep, then you start debating which task you should begin first, only to immediately question your decision and remind yourself of all the reasons why you won’t be able to complete it to yours, or anyone else’s, satisfaction.
All I can do is DEAL with the matter at hand and take 1 step at a time, any progress is good progress when your dealing with any kind of mental health issue. So I’ve been told.
Feel free to comment or leave your own thoughts here as It’d be nice to hear from others with the same issue’s as myself.
%d bloggers like this: