I have felt more things, more deeply..
I have often asked myself whether, given the choice, I would choose to have Bipolar. If lithium were not available to me, or didn’t work for me, the answer would be a simple no… and it would be an answer laced with terror.
But lithium does work for me after 2 years of trying everything else, but now I can afford to pose the question. Strangely enough, I think I would choose to have it. It’s complicated…
I honestly believe that as a result of it I have felt more things, more deeply; had more experiences, more intensely; loved more, and have been more loved…… laughed more often for having cried more often; appreciated more the springs, for all the winters…
Depressed, I have crawled on my hands and knees in order to get across a room and have done it for month after month.
But normal or manic I have run faster, thought faster, and loved faster than most I know. ///
Studies indicate that a high number of established artists.. meet the diagnostic criteria for depression… it seems these diseases can sometimes enhance or otherwise contribute to creativity in some people.
A visual interpretation of how I’m feeling at present, my head is spinning at alarming rate. I imagine this is how you’d feel if you were training at NASA in that spinny round thing.
I’ve only just started Blogging and I don’t really know what to write, I’ve read a few other peoples Blogs and they seem to know allot more about it than me, I’m what you’d call a NEWB to the whole thing as I was only diagnosed this time last year. As anyone with Bipolar would know its a roller-coaster of emotions and feelings. Since I started this Blog I’ve already spoken to a few people that :-
1.. Have Bipolar or other mental health Issue
2.. Have a greater knowledge of It than myself
3.. Are open an willing to talk about it
I’ll be honest with you when I say that since my diagnoses I haven’t really been able to express my feelings, yes obviously I talk to my wife but I don’t and can’t expect her to understand truly. Don’t get me wrong she does her best to listen and understand but until now I thought I was alone..
Luckily I stumbled across this place and all that It holds, I’m amazed at the fact I’m not actually alone and there’s people out there going through the same as me..
This is like an opening of my eye’s and a widening of my mind, I feel ecstatic, almost euphoric in a way that for once I’m actually enjoying. Obviously I’m aware that I’m having a hyper moment but If I’m truthful I really don’t care right now I feel happy and that’s all that matters isn’t it??